When I was younger, I was raised to believe that sex was something between a man and a woman which was only to be done while in marriage. It was taboo to do outside the state of marital status. It was the woman’s duty to please the man. Masturbation was also a no go zone.
Now I know this is not true. It took me many a year to come to terms with my sexuality. It seemed to me I hadn’t really reached my sexual prime until I was in my 30’s. I had been very reserved. I felt guilty if I had more than 2 orgasms. It really took some patience with my current husband for me to grow and realize my potential which I think I am still trying to achieve. At the time we got together it was just going to be for fun. It was going to be a something for us both to experiment with. I had gotten out of a relationship of almost 10 years which was also something I wasn’t suppose to do because it was a divorce. How could I end a marriage that was a huge commitment?
It all came down to a realization that this life is meant to be lived to its greatest potential. A chance encounter with a man really opened my eyes because he saw me in a totally different light than I saw myself while I was still married to my ex. I didn’t really do anything physically with this man because he lived in another state but I ended up contacting him because I was wondering how he was doing. He was pretty egotistical or maybe it was self-assured. Sometimes I find it hard to distinguish between the two things because it seems to me it they can go together in certain people hand in hand. It was through him that I began to realize that sex wasn’t dirty. It could be something beautiful. It was through him that I discovered there didn’t need to be guilt with touching ones self as a form of self-love. How can I know what I like if I didn’t love myself? It was with him that I first experience phone sex outside of marriage.
Sex with my husband is really great. I wish I could pleasure him more but he seems to get his greatest pleasure pleasuring me which was another reason why I keep him around. Honestly though, I wish I could do more for him but he is not one for licks, nipples being teased, or sucked upon other than his cock. My previous husband enjoyed me pleasuring him but he didn’t really return the favour very much. I have enjoyed sex in any way that I could get it in marriage but with my ex it was much more one-sided towards him rather than the way it is now.
I am still trying to get my head wrapped around the fact that sex isn’t dirty. I am making great strides though. I am branching out more in ways I never expected like starting this page.
Maybe it’s time we stop letting society dictate our thoughts about sexuality. What we do or don’t do in our bedrooms that aren’t hurting others shouldn’t be ruled by outsiders. We are the ones in charge of our lives. We have to take responsibility for our actions whether they are in the home or out especially between two consenting adults.
What do you think?