There is something about you. The attraction to you is almost addictive. It’s not because you are so handsome but there is something about you that keeps me at your side. I know we are both committed to others. I don’t think that is part of the attraction. Some people really get off on the secrecy. At first I have to admit there was an appeal to it but the more I contemplate the situation; the more I think I am not staying because of the secrecy or the taboo.
You seemed shocked the other day when I told you that I had spoken to my husband about you. It wasn’t so bad. I am too transparent when it comes to him anyway. I can’t lie to him. He can’t see my face but he knows. I often say it’s in my voice or breathing when it comes to him. I don’t know how he sees the tension in me without vision. His perception of me does not need sight to know how or where my head is at.
I can’t expect you to understand me when I hardly understand myself but I don’t want to let you go. I feel so greedy wanting you both. I told myself I was going to let you go but I just can’t do it. Do you want me to let you go? It would make life a lot less complicated but how would I go on without you? I can’t stop thinking about you. I love the sound of your voice. I love the way you make me feel. Just when I think you don’t feel the same about me, you do something to remind me of our specialness. I am feeling as if I am losing my sanity but if I were to walk away from you I know I would lose my sanity.
I’m an idiot. I’m a fool and all I want to do is run to you for a little while. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but there are somethings I just can’t explain. You know where I am. You have your ways to let me know you need to reconnect to me. I am waiting. I am longing for you. I am wet.