I Want To Be A Blind Man’s Iphone: A Rant by an envious wife

I want to be a blind man’s Iphone. It gets much more action than I ever get. Life before the Iphone was not so bad. I actually felt much more needed. He would never give his mobile that much attention until this stupid Iphone came into his life.
I hate to admit this but I’m envious of voice over. I can’t believe all the flicks, twists, and pinches it gets. I get much less action than the Iphone now.
I want to be triple clicked home. I want to be flicked. I can’t get over the action this Iphone has gotten as he has gotten more confident using it. I can’t get over the two finger double tap. I haven’t ever gotten a two finger double tap that much from him.
Two finger flick down to read a selection. Omg! I think he has never two finger flicked down on me or even up. Just think of how things in our bedroom would be if he were to do some of these gestures to me. If he would rotate my nipples like he rotates the rotor, he might actually discover reactions from me he never had before.
I’ll never forget the other night when I couldn’t sleep and thought I heard another woman’s voice only to discover he was using his Iphone. He wasn’t snoring but tapping and flicking away like it was the most sane thing to do. When I left the bed, he didn’t even bother to check on me.
I know this sounds pathetic but I want to be a blind man’s Iphone so I can get the action that the Iphone receives. I want to be a blind man’s Iphone that gets really good useage.

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